


First Love

by rapgodjinan



Category: iKON (Kpop)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-31 09:38:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6465292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rapgodjinan/pseuds/rapgodjinan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jinhwan asked about Hanbin's first love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	First Love

After their studio recording, Jinhwan immediately ran to a nearby lounge to open a TV in which iKON was interviewed. They were individually interviewed on the segment and each were asked questions by fans from all over the world.

He was a bit shy to watch his part but he still did. After him was their leader's part wherein he was asked if he had a first love knowing to be the unbeatable single man. His excited face immediately went serious when Hanbin chuckled a bit and answered the question.

"Yes. It was during Mix and Match era wherein I experienced my first love. It was a one sided."

Jinhwan bit his lip and he felt a sharp pain on his chest. He was taken back about this new information about Hanbin. He didn't know what to react and the first thing he know is why his longtime training buddy didn't even bother to tell him about his first love when in fact he even tells every small detail about his everday life to the leader.

Maybe he was hurt because they've been together for a long time and Hanbin has been secretive to him for almost two years. He stood up from the couch, irritated, and went to the dance practice room where he knew the rest of the members were.

He opened the door of the practice room and saw the rest of the members slouching, sitting and all eyes were on their phones while they scroll. They aren't even practicing. His eyes looked for Hanbin who was in front of the mirror with his earphones on his ears, who keeps on rocking his head with his own music.

Jinhwan had a flashback of Hanbin's own answer in the question. He remembered how he bittersweetly smiled and nodded his head, he remembered how he bluntly said it was a one-sided love, he also remembered how does it feel that his long time friend and crush felt loving someone that close but so much far from reality that they did have the same feelings.

He slowly walked towards Hanbin whose back is right before his eyes. He might be in denial from the moment he learned something about Hanbin but Jinhwan knew his feelings for him wasn't just purely friendship, it was more than that. He knew it a long time ago while they were still trainees during the time they experienced skinship through experimented dance moves, during the time Hanbin cried his heart out when he was feeling all the burden, and even during the time Hanbin's triumphant smile was evident. He knew how much he cared for Hanbin and how he wished the attention that his leader give to him means something more than friendship.

Step by step he felt as if his footsteps are slowly dragging him down. The amount of sadness and bitterness fills him as Hanbin's words kept on repeating on his mind. What if Hanbin admits he already had fallen in love? Can he take it all if he asks him directly? But still I am still his hyung, his friend. He should've consulted me about this.

"Hyung? You're here. We're waiting for you so we could start practicing." Hanbin said mindful about the daily routines they did together. "I.." Jinhwan couldn't find his words and gulped as if he was stucked in the moment. "I watched your interview."

"Really hyung? What interview though? I seemed to forget shows these days." Hanbin chuckled as he stands up and crossed his arms but he saw Jinhwan's face getting pale as he tried to stay still on his place. "Hyung. You look sick."

"I just wanted to know who was your first love." Jinhwan finally had the courage to ask Hanbin directly. With his question, all eyes were on them. The members were pretty shocked by the older's attempt to ask Hanbin's first love. It may seem that they wanted to know who it was or they just wanted to know what will be the reaction of the hyung.

"Oh? That? Oh it's uh- nothing." Hanbin who was looking directly in his eyes looked on his left and was taken aback by Jinhwan's sudden question. Everybody was still looking at them when Jinhwan couldn't take it due to embarassment and immediately went to pick up his things and cued everyone to just start practicing.

The whole day went as to what their daily routine says so but unlike before Jinhwan distracted and is irritated. He still couldn't think of who might be Hanbin's first love. He keeps thinking of every single girl who might have interacted with Hanbin when he was nineteen.

Yuk Jidam? Did they still have communication? But Hanbin can't even go outside just to meet other people. He sure knew Hanbin who was just either practicing or making another set of music. Lee Hi? It could be but Hayi was as focused as Hanbin and they didn't even have time to even meet inside YG Building. Lalice? The trainee? She might be though.

Jinhwan was losing his mind and the more he thinks about it the more he is punishing himself. It seems like torture. His unsaid feelings would just all go to a waste if he will determine who might be Hanbin's first love.

Their practice ended.

"Hyung. What are you still doing here? Yah. We're done practicing. Also, please focus next time. Hanbin's getting mad, you know him for sure." It was Bobby who was about to leave but saw the mathyung still slouching inside the practice room, unwashed, and looks like planning to spend his night inside the dance practice room. Jinhwan hissed when he saw Bobby who is still staring at him outside the room.

"Aish. Just go home Bobby. Good night and see you guys tomorrow." Jinhwan kept messing his hair and it's really obvious he's been going on through something. "I'm giving you a clue hyung! His first love is probably thinking about him right now!!" Bobby chuckled as he walked away from the door.

What the hell did he just say?? His first love is thinking of Hanbin now? What the hell Kim Jiwon?!

-

The next day Hanbin woke up on the couch. He was waiting for Jinhwan to come back to the dorm when he fell asleep. He thought Jinhwan came back and opened his room to see if he was still sleeping but he saw no one. He's wondering where Jinhwan might be and he is really worried about him.

He went to the YG building together with the  
members hoping to see their Jinhwan hyung. He went immediately to the practice room to see his tiny hyung sleeping inside still wearing the same clothes he wore during practice yesterday. He looked at his hyung and remembered how embarassed Jinhwan has been ever since he asked about his first love.

Hanbin might be charismatic and fearless when it comes to performances and being the leader they know. He is a perfectionist and is afraid of failures and rejection. Truth to be told, it was his Jinhwan hyung who is his first love. He considered it already that Jinhwan has no interest in him since he sees that Jinhwan is such a caring hyung, even with others. He can't even stay at put when Jinhwan does skinship with the other members that made him jealous and whiny all over them.

It's just that he only want Jinhwan to be his. Jinhwan's touch should be his and Jinhwan should only be his. But that thing couldn't happen because they're just plain teammates, group members, and just friends.

He carefully closed the door as he carefully walked towards Jinhwan who is sleeping soundly and his eyebugs are evident. Hanbin smiled in relief as he lowered himself in front of his hyung and stared at him for a long time. He was just happy that Jinhwan is just right in front of him and safe.

When Jinhwan felt like someone has been looking at him, he had to wake up and saw a Hanbin looking at him. They both got stucked for a moment but eventually came back to their senses when reality hit them that they were staring at each other's eyes. Jinhwan and Hanbin snapped out all of a sudden with eyes widening and they avoided each other's gaze.

"Y-Yah Hanbin... What are you do-- aish. I slept here! Pabo Jinan! Pabo!" Jinhwan felt like he's going to rip his head off whenever possible because he slept inside the practice room thinking about that never ending first love of Kim Hanbin.

"We're you still thinking about my first love?" Hanbin seriously asked as he sitted crossing his legs and this time his tone is serious and it looks like he is going to spill all the beans. He was sitted across Jinhwan who is still sulking at the moment. "Uh- No. I mean yes. Uh- I'm just quite anxious and curious and I don't know how to feel but Hanbin don't get me wrong I-I don't want to intrude with your affairs... I mean I've been with you for years and I am jus-"

Jinhwan was interrupted by Hanbin's sudden 'ssh'. "Stop it hyung, it was you." Finally, Hanbin had the courage to tell his hyung how he actually feels but unlike with the songs he wrote beautifully and expressively he could only speak a few words that are unfree on his mouth.

"Wha-at? Me? What about me?" Jinhwan can't seem to get a grip of himself. He knew what Hanbin meant but he just wanted to confirm it.

"Kim Jinhwan was my first love." Hanbin raised his knees in order to cover at least half of his face who looked down right at the moment he confessed. "It isn't one-sided love, pabo." Jinhwan calmed down as he tried to crawl towards Hanbin and lifted his head up.

"I, too, didn't have the courage to tell you my feelings but you know Hanbin how much I love you." Hanbin lifted his head as Jinhwan's hand caressed his cheeks.

"Really? Gaaah hyung! You made me crazy for years!" Hanbin whined in another relief as if his chest is going to explode. Jinhwan can't help but chuckle a bit to Hanbin's dumbness exclaiming "but I was head over heels of you for three years! You pabo!"

"I love you hyung." Hanbin pulled Jinhwan's wrist as he tightly hugged the petite boy. "I-I love you, too." Jinhwan bursted into tears as he hit Hanbin's back playfully.

"But I was jealous of that first love!!"

"Why were you jealous of yourself hyung??"

 

"Oh. Finally the two cowards are together. Stop that. Respect those who were single." Bobby laughed as he and the other members entered the practice room and kept teasing the two with their lovey dovey scenery.


End file.
